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GRE AWA Practice - GRE ARGUMENT ESSAY 156

GRE Analytical Writing Argument Essay Topic - 156

The following appeared in a newsletter about health.

"The proportion of children in the United States who are overweight is greater now than ever before. Obesity rates among children have been increasing since the 1970's and, during that same time period, the proportion of children living in suburbs has increased. Whereas children in rural areas tend to have outdoor active chores and children in cities often walk to school or other places they need to go, children in suburbs are typically driven everywhere. Thus the increase in childhood obesity is probably due mainly to the suburbanization of America and the associated decrease in the opportunities children have for exercise."





GRE AWA Analytical Writing Argument Essay Sample Solution - 156

The above article appeared in a newsletter about health. The arguer in the above argument wants to state that the increase in childhood obesity in America is probably because of suburbanization and it is also related to decrease in the opportunities children have for exercise. The arguer is blaming suburbanization for the increase in obesity in children in America. The arguer gives various arguments in his support. The first argument which the arguer gives in his support is that since 1970's the obesity rates among children have been on rise and also the proportion of children living in suburbs has increased. The second argument which the arguer gives is that in rural areas and cities children are more active as they do household chores and even go walking to school; whereas in suburbs children are driven to everyplace. Thus, there is rise in obesity in children who live in suburbs.

The arguer mentions in the very first line of his newsletter that the proportion of overweight children in the United States is greater now. This statement means that children were already overweight in large numbers but that number of children who were already overweight was not because of suburbanization. The recommendation made by the arguer falls flat as it does not have any relevance. The arguer in his first argument states that because children living in suburbs have increased that is why obesity in children has increased. This is a very baseless assumption by the arguer. Nowhere has the arguer mentioned the relation between suburbanization and obesity. The arguer has not mentioned what percentage of children living in suburbs was obese. It is quite possible that children who added to the rise in obesity were already suburban and not the newly shifted children.

In the second support for his argument the arguer states that rural and city children do household chores and go walking to their schools and on the other hand suburban children go everywhere in cars. The arguer has not mentioned anywhere that rural or city children do not add to the proportion of obese children. The arguer has only mentioned that suburban children are driven down to all the places but this certainly does not mean that they do not play or do household chores. The arguer has not mentioned that rural children are not driven to any place. The arguer has also not mentioned that the children who were staying in suburbs were not doing any exercise.

The arguer has not been able to present any relation between obesity and suburbanization. In the absence of relevant facts the true reason behind the increase in obesity amongst children is not clear. The arguer has also not mentioned the various eating habits of the children as this is a very important aspect. The arguer has also not mentioned the age group of children who under obesity as younger children tend to be more obese than adolescents. The arguer needs to present more accurate facts to make his stand more convincing.

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